Adjustment

When I look at many great relationships, I see that people develop their stability in the early stages by being flexible and understanding boundaries. I find it is most important to be flexible in terms of our actions. Many times, we need to make adjustments within a fraction of a second. At these times, we have a choice to react or respond.

I responded by calling the nurse and asked for my pain medication to be decreased. It was not easy, and I had to be flexible, but later that night, I was able reach a peaceful state in my meditation, and the pain felt less like pain and more like healing.

There may have been times in the past when we needed to react. This often happens when there’s less time to communicate. I saw this in my days of being in and around hospitals and seeing professionals react within seconds. As for myself, I find that responding usually works better than reacting. I feel the main difference is responding gives you more flexibility. Thus, responding gives more space, and to be flexible, you need to have space to move. When communicating, you need the mental space more than anything; if not, you or someone else might feel stifled or imprisoned.

Lastly, this brings me to the other part of adjustment that has to do with boundaries. This is where it is important to first communicate with ourselves about becoming aware of our own personal boundaries. Then, we can communicate more clearly with any outside forms of energy. At this point, we have the power to communicate any ideas of adjustment. Flexibility and boundaries will change over time, but this is when the wheel of the “A’s” will turn toward the next spoke of acceptances, and we realize how much we will accept before we decide if and when a change is needed.

I realized that, over the past months, these adjustments and the choice to react or respond was not the only thing I was doing. It was what many nurses, doctors, friends, family, and sometimes strangers were all doing to help others, as well as myself. This is why I feel it is so important to truly understand the many adjustments we each make in our relationships.