Timing

Timing can directly affect the performance and destiny of our own life, as well as the lives of the ones around us. One second can change the outcome of our lives for years. Something I have witnessed is that, when one’s motivation is pure and honest, timing will come naturally.

One of the first films I ever made was in Los Angeles, California. I was in school, and two days a week after class, I picked up a 10-year-old kid, Tony, from grade school. His mom contacted the school looking for someone to be a Big Brother to her son. Tony had no siblings, and his father was nowhere to be found. Tony and I would cruise around in my old (1974), beat up, lime green convertible VW Bug. I would occasionally verbalize a few of my life lessons, but usually, we were busy engaging in activities that helped him to confront obstacles, like dealing with a bully on the playground or not being able to perform a task he desperately wished he could do.

Once a week for about an hour, Tony had tap dance class. I would take him to a small, storefront school in San Pedro. While Tony was in class, I would wait outside. I would talk to some of the parents, but mostly, I talked to the people who managed the dance school. In our conversations, they mentioned their parents and how they started the school years back. They seemed so proud of their parents’ accomplishments. I became eager to meet these two talented, ambitious people who their children, as well as everyone else in the dance school, held in such high regard.

The next week, Tony and I arrived at the dance school, and while Tony was putting on his tap shoes, I peeked into the dance studio to see if class had started. What I could see as I peeked around the corner was one of the most graceful exchanges of love I had ever seen. Without any effort, these two seventy-five-year-olds eased each other into any dance movement to feel as one. I did not need any introduction. I knew that this was the couple that everyone in the school was talking about. This was Roslyn and Alva.

When my film professor gave me the assignment to make a documentary, I decided to feature this couple. To prepare, I visited their home and asked plenty of questions. I also talked to their friends and family. Then came the day we were to interview Roslyn and Alva on camera. I learned so much about this couple, from their history as immigrants to being backup dancers and stunt doubles for the famous Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. They had also been accused of being communists and were blacklisted in Hollywood during the ‘50s. But the one lesson I learned that I will never forget is the importance of timing. I remember Alva telling me both on and off camera about how important it was to have good timing in dancing and in life. He would say, “I can know how to do all the greatest moves, but if I don’t have the right timing, I'm not a dancer. I’m just a guy who knows how to do all the great moves.”

As with most of my finished projects in film, photography, painting, writing, or whatever I set out to conquer, I judged my success on what I learned, in hopes that others might learn as well. I sometimes still hear Alva’s voice in the back of my head at all sorts of times. Sometimes, it’s when I’m dealing with family problems, or at other times, I’m just giving directions to a comedic actor. I’ll think, “You can know all the jokes in the world, but if you don't have a sense for timing, you are not a comedian. You are just a guy who knows all the jokes in the world.” The timing of shooting the film about Roslyn and Alva was ironic. I believe the same day I met them was the day I got word from home that my dad and mom were separating after 35 years of marriage. And there I was, on the opposite coast, witnessing a marriage still going strong for over fifty years. Timing, huh?

This is just one example of the importance of “when” we receive different forms of energy. In this case, the two forms of energy seemed to balance each other just when I needed it.

A good sense of timing starts with motivation and ends with patience. When it comes to patience, I agree with the phrase, “Good things take time.” But I must also add, “The best things are forever” (Freedom, Faith, and Love). If we are motivated by love for others as well as for ourselves, then we can achieve the best things in an honest way, which can last forever.