Discipline

There have been quite a few times in my life when I thought I was at the correct pace, but I still felt out of rhythm. I soon realized that there was something lying beneath the pressures I faced, and often, it was my self-created fear of discipline. As adults, we are ultimately responsible for our own self-discipline. When I was a child, it was a challenge to value how the addition of discipline could change my life. My parents were pretty wiped out from raising and instilling discipline in the first four kids before me. Although they did their best, they often had little time or energy to instill a strong foundation of discipline in me. Maybe this is why I ended up making some mistakes in my life. I learned from them, but in time, I also learned the ever-so-important value of discipline.

When I was about six years old, I was taken out of class one afternoon. I sat down at a round, wooden table in a small room, across from a woman who began to show me all sorts of abstract images, cubes with patterns, and a series of other tests. I was asked my thoughts on them and what I perceived from the images. At the time, I did not know the reason I was even in this room, but further testing occurred for the next twelve years of my life. Along the way, I was told that I thought in a different way than the other kids and that I had a learning disability, dyslexia. The list goes on and on of all the different feedback and conclusions I was given. I just saw myself struggling more and more as each year passed. I squeezed by academically from grade to grade, trying to avoid being placed in “special ed.” I saw most of my friends move on to the next grades effortlessly, while I was fearful of being left back. Later, I managed to graduate high school, and somehow, I squeezed into college. But after the first few months, I was intimidated by my dyslexia and dropped out. I then decided to give my street smarts a try, which worked on a financial level, but morally and spiritually, I fell flat on my face. Yet, with some faith, I fortunately freed myself from my fears.

Today, I wonder if I was being motivated by fear, the fear of not being left back or not being with my friends, to whom I had grown attached. Perhaps later it was the fear of going to jail. Being faced with fear and attachment issues can cause difficulties in finding a sense of self-discipline. Self-discipline and non-attachment is what I lacked and desperately needed as I faced my mental challenges and my development toward being honest with myself and my troublesome situation.

Later in life, as I gained an understanding of discipline, I became more receptive to the motivating words I often heard or read. For example, I heard things like, “I can choose to be the first one in the gym and the last one to leave.” There were also similar quotes while in training for basketball teams. It was not only the accomplishments that resulted from self-discipline that stimulated me, but being able to create a plan and enjoying the efforts of the process. I saw that, if I can create my own discipline, I can create my own destiny. With the power to change my destiny, I could change my present reality.

Many have the idea that discipline will bring suffering rather than happiness. Most fundamental thoughts of discipline usually root back to childhood, often from being told or scorned to do something of which we had no desire. “Clean your room!” “Do your homework!” “You’re late! Give me twenty push-ups!” and so on. The joy in discipline is overlooked because finding joy in the early ages of our life was usually associated with a kind of “currency” we only received for performing these tasks. The “currency” might have been receiving a “dessert” or “being able play with friends.” As adults, our intellect and reason have developed more; therefore, our relationship with discipline is more clear and understandable.

But this clarity can only happen if we are able to use our “tool of vision” in the best way possible. If we can respect the power and accuracy of our vision, we as adults will have an easier time accepting self-discipline. We have the power to manifest the realities of our currencies of choice. Many adults do not want to face this fact and only accept what they are given as their realities. The truth is that they asked for whatever “currency” they possess. For example, it could be a new car or picking up your kid from school each day.

The healthier we are with our mental discipline, the more joy we find in our efforts in route to receiving the “currency.” But will this “currency” only fulfill our own needs or the needs of the universe? When it comes to defining “wealth” or “currency,” most look at the amount of a dollar. But if we were to broaden our perspectives of currency, perhaps more would feel as if we are “wealthy.” As a result, we might be less fearful of losing a portion of a particular currency, understanding the possibility of gaining more of another. For example, we may lose a couple of bucks or a few hours of work in exchange for the energy we feel when we pick up our children from school.